This isnt one of those butterfly things
by ixImperfection
Summary: If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, its yours to keep. If it doesnt, they it wasnt meant to be.


Ahaha. Its been a whilleeee oo Welll, anyways. I've been seeing a lot of stories that are S&S, but they don't end up with each other in the end. Altho I do love that couple, I still love these stories, cause it shows that its not always a happy ending. So, I thought I'd give one a try, from experience :D. Lol. Most, if not all, of the events in this story have actually happened. Haha, don't hate me

Its not like I _planned_ for this to happen. But now I wish I kinda did, so things would go my way. But you don't always get your way do you? And love stories don't always have a happy ending. Many people have said this is like one of the most perfect sad ending love stories, or one of the romance movies. But how should I know? I stayed away from that stuff. Love was so overrated. And plus, come on, heart skipping beats, butterflies in your stomach? That_ cant_ be safe.

Ok. So maybe I was a little afraid to open up and fall In love. But can you blame me? I hear a lot of bad things about love. That it screws you over, that's its not fun at all. But yet, if you lucky you can experience the good part of love right? _If you lucky._ Haha, lets just say I haven't been exactly the luckiest person alive.

I sighed heavily to myself as I walked down that lonely path to school like I do every morning. This isn't what I normally thought about going to school. Heck, I never thought about love. But, one of my best friends had told me yesterday that she had finally fell in love. She didn't tell me who just yet, I guess she was saving it for today when she could actually show me the lucky boy.

"_So, who...is he?" I had asked. Not like I really wanted to know. But I had to sound interested right?_

"_He's In your first period..." She answered simply._

"_Meilin..that's not exactly helpful. I have a lot of guys in my first period" It was true. That class was full of mostly guys._

"_I'll...show you tomorrow, I promise!" She rushed, "Mom's home. Gotta go!" And she hung up. Just like that. _

So, today in the morning she was gonna wait by me, and she said the guy she'd hug would be him. It got me a little bit more interested. Cause Meilin wasn't a big fan of love either. And just in the corse of our first month of school, she already fell in love. Unless she knew him last year. But whatever.

A light breeze blew, and I shivered and hugged my jacket around me tighter. I sometimes hate these long walks to school. Especially when its cold like this.

Where exactly was my mom? Haha, she's in a place where I don't have to see her for another year. Jail. Happens all the time. And my dad? I have no idea where he is. So as of right now, Im living on my own. 7th grader, living alone. Ironic isn't it? I've been managing though. Im not exactly happy. But, at least no one knows right?

"Sakura!" I took a deep breath, and put on that smile I always have. Wasn't real. Im pretty sure someone could see through it. But as long as they don't say anything, everything's ok right?

"Mornin' Meilin. Mornin' Tomoyo" My two best friends in whole world. But they don't know about everything yet. And I don't plan on telling them. What's the use of burdening them with _my _problems? They probably had enough to deal with.

"Sakura! Its 7:45! Why weren't you here earlier!" Meilin mocked glared at me.

_Cause I was up all night fighting with my mom until the police came and picked her up again._ "Oh, Um. I was up late last night doing Homework and such" I giggled. I caught Tomoyo's eyes glancing sadly at me, and I looked away, down to my ripped converese, gulped, then looked back up and smiled again. "Im so clumsy"

Meilin sighed "What are we going to do with you Sakura?" She shook her head, then grabbed my arm. "Come on! I promised I'd show you him remember?"

"Huh? Uh, Ah wait, Meilin" Too late. I was already being dragged towards my classroom. Tomoyo followed soon after, giggling to herself.

I was dragged all the way there, like if she let go I'd run away or something. "Meilin..."

"Ah, there he is!" she whispered, then let go of my arm and ran off towards somewhere. My arm dropped useless to my side and I stood still, watching Meilin run to this _person_. I didn't exactly get to see his face yet, cause Meilin has launched a hug at him, and he happily hugged back. They pulled back, and started chatting, and she looked back at me with a look that told me to hurry up and get my butt up there. I decided to obey, and walked up to them.

And guess who the lucky boy was? _Syaoran Li_. "Morning Li-kun..." I said, not looking him in the eye.

"Morning Kinimoto. Please, call me Syoran" He said slowly.

I nodded, still not looking him in the eye, Syaoran Li had definelty managed to jumble up my thoughts whenever he was around. And that seemed to be quite a lot in class.

"Ne, Syaoran-kun," Meilin got his attention, and I stopped listening after that. _Oh god. Out of all people, she had to befriend and fall in love with Syaoran Li? _Syaoran Li was pretty much the nicest guy you will meet. He's dense, and sometimes thinks thing too lightly. Hes popular among guys, as of girls (you can always see him hanging out with girls). But he never dates any of them. Plenty of girls have liked him, but he's not the type to actually go out with anyone. As of all I've herd, he's only like a few girls.

"Sakura?" I herd Tomoyo's voice snap me out of my thoughts.

"Yes?" I turn to her.

"...Nothing." she sighed hopelessly. I was about to say something, the bell interrupted anything that was going to come out of my mouth.

"Later Sakura!" Meilin and Tomoyo waved goodbye, rushing to their first class. And I stood there like an idiot, my head still jumbled up in my thoughts. Why was I thinking so much?

"Sakura?" It was Syaoran's voice this time that brought me out of my thoughts.

"Huh?"

"Are you okay?" Oh my god. No one has ever asked that question. And for some reason, right then and there I wanted to tell him everything. But I held it in, and smiled.

"Of course" I walked past him into the classroom, but I could feel his eyes on my back. From that day on, I knew math class was never going to be the same again.

And the rest of the day didn't seem to get any easier. He hung out with us, for some strange reason. Meilin was happy about it, so I didn't say what I wanted to.

"_Stay away from me. I cant think when your around!"_ That's what I _wanted_ to say. But of course, I had to hold it in for Meilin's sake. She seemed really happy that he was hanging around us.

"Sakura?" I don't remember how or when we got onto a first name basis. But, for some reason, I didn't seem to mind.

"Hmm?" I looked up from my food, half eaten.

"You...seem..I don't know, sad?" He said.

My eyes widened and I plastered on a smile. "Me? Sad? N-No, Of course not! I was just thinking about that test I had last period. There was this one question I couldn't figure out!" I herd Tomoyo sigh heavily as she got up.

"I gotta head to the library. I'll see you guys after school..." She mumbled, gathering her stuff.

"Later Tomoyo!" Me and Meilin said, waving goodbye.

"Bye Daidouji" Syaoran waved.

Tomoyo, I was pretty sure, could see through everything. But she didn't want to ask I guess. She was respecting my privacy, and was waiting till I told her. I guess?

Sigh. I looked up at Meilin and Syaoran, and caught Syaoran's eyes. But they didn't leave when I caught him staring, they stayed right there. And I could see the worry in them, and knew he was reading me like a book. I broke the gaze before he saw too much.

"I...I have to go.." I got up, slid my lunch tray down the table and into the garbage and walked back to get my stuff.

"Huh? Where are you off to Sakura?"

"Ummm...I...Im going to go set up early and get some early practing in. I have a concert coming up." I smiled sheepishly and gathered my stuff into my backpack, zipping it up and throwing it over my shoulder."Later guys"

I turned and quickly walked to the music room, never looking back. _What was he doing to me? _

_**After school**_

"The Hill" is what we had always called it. And It had been our hangout place since we started going to this school. After school, and sometimes during lunch.

And here I was. Alone. Tomoyo had gone home early, and I was still waiting for Meilin to get here. Speaking of Meilin, she said she needed to talk to me today...

"Hey Saks" A nickname. I rarely ever get called it anymore, but in elementary, id always be called that.

"Hey Meilin" She sat down next to me, "So, you needed to talk to me?"

"I think im going to tell him"

I gasped a little. This is what she wanted to talk to me about? That she was going to confess and then they'll live happily ever after? And she's gonna want me to be happy for her. I mean...Of course Im going to be happy for her. Why shouldn't I be? Why...was this bothering me. Argh, say something Sakura!

"That's...That's great" I smiled.

"But..its risky. If he doesn't like me back, it could ruin the friendship I have with him. But...then again, he has a right to know...right?"

"You'll never know until you try" Woah. I didn't even think about what I was going to say. And that just spills out of my mouth.

"Haha, Thanks Sakura. You always know just what to say"

I smiled. It was true, I was afraid to fall in love. And maybe I was in denial that I fell for the famous Syaoran Li, that it was love at first sight. Maybe I wasn't in denial. Maybe I was keeping it in for Meilin's sake.

"Im...Not ready to tell him just yet. But I will be, eventually" She said with full confidence.

Yeah. Im not ready to fall in love, or admit it yet. But I will be. Eventually.

oo. Lol. how was it? Plz review :


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